The Domestic Church -- the Christian family -- is supposed to be the primary place for education. As St. John Paul II called it, the family is to be “a school of a deeper humanity.” The education done in the family should be concerned with the entire person: their moral, intellectual, spiritual, and physical development.
One of the most important lessons that a mother and father ought to teach their children is the lesson of self-giving love. Self-giving love places the good of another ahead of one’s personal good -- actually seeing the other person’s good as one’s own good. This most fundamental lesson of “deeper humanity” is taught through ordinary daily life in the rhythm of a home in which God is loved and adored about all things.
Archbishop William Lori, the Supreme Chaplain of the Knights of Columbus, described this as involving, “lessons of faith and character. Parent teach children their first prayers, bring them to Mass on Sunday, and help them develop a basic sense of right and wrong coupled with a sense of responsibility. They also teach gratitude and generosity by helping their children learn to take care of their possessions; to not always expect to have the latest and best of everything; and to grow in the habit of sharing what they have with others. Moveover, parents help their children learn to handle life’s inevitable disappointments, including the invidious comparisons that are part of the highly competitive and materialistic culture in which we live. Such lessons are best learned at home in an atmosphere of respect and love….” Pope Francis summarized it this way, “Parents are called … not only to bring children into the world but also to bring them to God” (Lumen Fidei #43).
St. Therese of the Child Jesus developed a tool for helping us learn to do things out of love for others, even things that we find unpleasant. She used what she called “sacrifice beads” or “good deed beads.” Essentially they are a way of helping a family look for opportunities to make little offerings of love to God through small acts of self-giving service.
Sacrifice Beads originated in the childhood of St. Therese of Lisieux. When Therese was a small girl, her older sister gave her a set of beads on which to count the things she offered up for God. This became a regular and consistent practice for St. Therese. It fit naturally into her “Little Way,” the name given to Therese’s manner of living a spiritual life and her constant quest for sanctity. Therese advocated that heroism and great, astonishing acts were not the only way to obtain and grow in holiness.
Therese wrote, “Love proves itself by deeds, so how am I to show my love? Great deeds are forbidden me. The only way I can prove my love is by scattering flowers and these flowers are every little sacrifice, every glance and word, and the doing of the least actions for love.”
St. Therese’s Little Way involves offering all you do, even the smallest of things for the love of God and emphasizes that even small things, when done out of love for God, are valid and important. For example, when doing laundry in the uncomfortable heat of summer, Therese would quietly take her place in the hottest area of the room and leave the cooler areas for the others.
While you can purchase “Sacrifice beads” at Catholic Religious goods stores, I found instructions for how to make them yourself, and am including them as an insert in this week’s bulletin. It will make a fun project for do as a family this month.