Thank you for joining me today for what will probably be the last live-stream of the Mass from my little chapel here in the rectory. As I am sure most of you know, we are taking a small step towards getting back to normal. Beginning tomorrow, here in the Diocese of Trenton, we can start having public, daily Mass – with no more than 25 people present. So I will be celebrating the 9 AM Mass at Holy Name Church tomorrow. For now, all the daily Masses will be at Holy Name, and they will also be live-streamed here to the parish website. Next weekend we will start to have our regular weekend Mass schedule, again limited, and regulated. After looking at both churches, and the need to maintain 6 feet between seats, I have decided that all the weekend Masses will be at Holy Name as well. This is because we can fit 92 people in Holy Name, but only 44 in St. Casimir. I want to give as many people as possible the chance to come to Mass. It will also save some air conditioning costs. The 10 AM Mass will be live-streamed. It is not perfect, but it is a step towards normal.
This is also the fourth week of our message series, “More Than Words.” This series is about helping us appreciate the power that our words have. We have a tendency to dismiss the power of our words, however life and death are in the power of the tongue and in order for us to be better followers of Christ, better friends, co-workers, neighbors, brothers and sisters, we have to be learning to use our words wisely.
Three weeks ago we looked at some of the sins of the tongue. Those sins come from our heart. For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. We looked at how our words reveal our heart and reveal what we have to work on in our heart.
Two weeks ago we looked at finding words in Scripture to bring clarity and direction to our life. We don’t want to let the words of others define our direction. We want to let the word of God set the direction to our lives. And so we asked everyone to begin looking for a verse or story of Scripture to claim as your own.
Last week we acknowledged that everyone experiences communication breakdowns, and looked at the account of the Tower of Babel to better understand the causes of communication breakdowns (namely pride, trying to make ourselves equal to God), and the account of Pentecost in the Acts of the Apostles as an example of how we can bring unity to what our communications breakdowns has caused to divide.
This week we are going to look at something that everyone in the world seems to be starving for: words of encouragement. I learned of a study by the Gottman Institute that looked at the ratio of words of encouragement that we receive to words of criticism that in our daily life. On average, for each and every one of us that ratio is six to one, six words of criticism to just one word of encouragement. It seems that we need some work in this aspect of our lives. I mean six-to-one is a pretty oppressive ratio, don't you think? That's a pretty negative environment.
It sort of explains why some of our workplaces are just so toxic. It explains why some of those teams are just no fun to be a part of, why our relationships can be draining sometimes, because the ratio of six to one is difficult. And that shows me that we are starved for encouragement. We are starved for affirmation. Truett Cathy, the CEO of Chick-fil-a, said that you know someone needed encouraging if they were breathing. Because everyone needs encouragement.
That's the simple bottom line for today's message: that everyone is hungry for encouragement. But more than that, everyone can be an encourager. What do you think of that? Everyone? All of us, each and every one of us, can be an encourager. No matter what job you have, or what school you go to, what season of life you're in, no matter what's your age, or your personality type. It costs you nothing. All of us, each and every one of us, we can be an encourager.
In fact, if you're a Christian it's a command. To be an encourager is a command. It's something that we all need to be working on and developing the habit of encouragement. Because everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone is hungry for encouragement, and everyone can be an encourager. We know that this is a command for the Christian because St. Paul, in his second letter to the Corinthians that we read in today's second reading offers this: encourage one another.
So how can we develop our skills at speaking words of encouragement? First, everyone wants to know they're not alone. It is natural for us to want to paint ourselves in a positive light, but in truth underneath things are often not as peachy as we say on our Facebook account.
I listen to a lot of Christian radio; mostly K-Love. A woman called in to share something. She thought that she was the worse. All of her friends on social media seemed to be living the perfect lives – doing the “mommy thing” was no sweat, their marriage was still in the honeymoon period, career was taking off, etc. For her, while she loved her baby, she felt exhausted all the time, when the baby was crying she did not know if she was doing something wrong. She and her husband had been going through a rough time, and two weeks earlier he left her, with the crying baby. She finally decided that she was not going to continue to paint a perfect life on social media and she posted all of her anxiety, her fears, her frustrations – the whole ugly mess that she thought her life was. As soon as she did, all her friends started private messaging her, telling her that they were struggling too. One friend wrote: oh my gosh, my husband just left two weeks ago, too. Somebody else wrote: I have no idea what I'm doing as a mom either. Do you want to get together sometime and talk? You know what? That encouraged her. It gave her hope, because she realized that she wasn't alone. Everyone wants to know that they're not alone.
Getting back to St. Paul’s Second Letter to the Corinthians, earlier in that letter he wrote, “We do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction that came to us in the province of Asia” (2 Cor 1:8). It's almost like Paul was saying, you might be following our story on Instagram. You might be following our trip and sure the pictures look great and the scenery is wonderful. But we don't want you to be getting the wrong impression. We're having a hard time. We're struggling. He then writes, “we were utterly weighed down beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life” (2 Cor 1:8). If St. Paul could despair even of life at times, then even when things are going the worse for us, we are not alone.
Perhaps that's where you are today. You're feeling alone. In your struggles, you're feeling isolated with whatever you're dealing with. Whatever your struggle might be this morning, let me assure you, you're not alone. We're all struggling, at least most of us to some degree or another. Because life is real. So the next time somebody shares with you their own struggles, you can encourage them by sharing your own struggles with them, because everyone wants to know they're not alone.
A second key to encouraging people is to let them know they have what it takes. We all have fears and insecurities and doubts from time to time. We all lack confidence that we have what it takes, whether it be with our relationships or something else. We all lack that confidence that we have what it takes. And its words of encouragement from others that help us believe in ourselves and tap into that potential. You never know what some simple words of encouragement from you can do for someone else.
So that's our homework for this week, pick just one person. Who can you encourage? Or maybe God will bring someone across your path this week, who's struggling, who's feeling isolated, who's having a hard time and you can speak some words of encouragement to them. We are living in crazy times right now; shut in our homes for over two months with the pandemic, only now some steps back to normalcy happening. This week encourage just at least one person to help you develop it as a regular habit.
Today, we celebrate the solemnity the feast of the Most Holy Trinity, that perfect communion and relationship between the Father and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. And right before Jesus's ministry on earth began, his father opened the heavens wide and in a loud voice for everyone to hear. He said, “This is my beloved Son. I loved him, I am pleased with him, I believe in him.” And if Jesus needed to hear those words of encouragement from his father, how much more does your wife, does your husband, do your kids, do your friends need to hear words of encouragement from you? Live St. Paul’s command, not only to the Christians living in Corinth, but to all Christians, “encourage one another.”