It almost seems anti-climatic to say it’s Advent. Advent is pretty much forgotten since Christmas now seems to start the day after Halloween. For the next month, our society is in 100% Christmas mode, and it is rather cliché to say that the next month will probably be the busiest time of the whole year, and it fly by in no time at all. We are all in the same boat with limited time and resources to face everything that is coming our way in the next month.
Part of the problem is that it’s all good; well at least it is mostly good stuff. Christmas parties at work and in the various groups we all belong to, Christmas concerts and plays the the kids or grandkids are in, gift buying and wrapping and exchanging, Christmas cards to mail out – these are all good things, even fun things for many of us. It just doesn’t all fit, especially since the rest of our life proceeds more or less as usual – we still have to go to work or school, we still have to do our chores of cleaning the house, going grocery shopping, cooking the meals. All the issues that make up our lives do not go away just because the holidays are here.
The other part of the problem is that it can be difficult to know what to do, and then, what to do next, and what not to do. In many ways it is a good problem to have because it means that we are blessed with family, friends, opportunities and resources. Nevertheless, all these good things can start to feel like pressure, and it can become overwhelming. This can lead us to feeling anxious, angry, and annoyed – in addition to being busy.
If you think about it, the holiday season is a microcosm for the whole of our life. The next month is this intense little experience of what really is going on day in and day out through the whole of our life because life is an ever-changing menu of options and choices that keep coming our way. And what we are doing with them is determining the quality and direction of our life. What we need is a strategy.
Welcome to our Advent Message Series, “Your Best Yes,” in which we will be offering some ideas for developing just the strategy that we need to help us choose the best “Yes” among the options that come our way; not just during this Christmas Season, but in life. Much of what we are going to be talking about comes from St. Ignatius Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits, who was a master of what is called the process of discernment. Discernment is about judgment not just in terms of the good from the bad, but the good from the greater good, and the greater good from the greatest good. There are three principles of discernment that we are going to focus on during this message series.
The first principle of discernment goes like this; we need to discern from the truth that is God. God actually wants to get involved and really help us out when it comes to making good and great decisions in life and about life. God wants us to see every day of our life as His gift to us. Too many people approach life, not to mention Christmas, as something simply to be gotten through, but that is not how God wants us to live. We will find our best “yes” when we invite God into the decision-making process. Discerning and making good decisions by laying our options before God, and then actually pausing to hear what He has to say, is another reason why we need a daily quiet time.
The second principle is this; we need to discern from the truth that is ourselves. It is amazing how quickly we forget who we are, our personality, our interests, our abilities, our giftedness. Discernment is asking God what we should do based on who He has made us to be. One truth about you is that God has made you free to make decisions; He has given you a capacity to choose. How often do we act like we don’t have any choice, especially at Christmas. When we act that way, like we don’t have a choice and we act only out of a sense of obligation or duty, there is a chance that we are working against our own personality – against who God made us to be.
God does not want us living our lives out of a sense of obligation. Of course we all have obligations, but the point is we need to recognize that we are choosing to fulfill our obligations. It is a choice, you choose to say “Yes” just like you can choose to say “No.” You heard me right, the word “No” can become a very powerful word for us this Christmas.
We are free to say “No” to overcoming and over-scheduling yourself and your family, again, this year. The best “Yes” is often preceded by a firm “No.” It is hard, especially at this time of year, because we want to please everyone. It is not wrong to want to please everyone, it’s just not possible. We have the freedom to say “No” and mature people in our lives need to accept that, and immature people need to grow up, and we are helping them do so when we say “No.”
The third principle for discernment is found in Scripture, in fact St. Paul states it perfectly in today’s second reading from his letter to the Thessalonians. St. Paul writes, “May the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, just as we have for you, so as to strengthen your hearts, to be blameless in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his holy ones.” Our best “Yes,” our greatest good will ultimately come from love and the desire to love. The third principle is our need to discern from the truth that is love.
Often the most loving answer, the most generous answer is “No.” It does not matter what we do this Christmas if we are not growing in love. Accepting every invitation, attending every party, seeing every relative, finding every gift, getting the cutest possible picture of the kids and grandkids for the cutest possible Christmas card is ultimately of little or no value without love.
Over this Advent Season we are going to be looking at that. We are going to look at how we can grow to love God, to love others, and inspired by that love, to make disciples through spiritual discernment.
This Christmas is probably going to be busy for sure, but it can be busy without anxiety and anger. Invite God into your busyness. Choose to give Him, and yourself, the Christmas gift of your very best “Yes.”