Last week, we launched our new message series called, "Secrets of Every Happy Family." Our families are pretty diverse for sure, but we all share in common the experience of a family because we've all come from a family and we have emotional attachment to family members. Words like mother, father, brother, sister are not emotionally neutral words. They bring a flood of memories and feelings.

Last week, we talked about three principles or secrets of a happy family that are forming the basis for this series. They're, by no means, meant to be a comprehensive, exhaustive list, just some principles on which we're focusing.

The first secret of a happy family is that they accept the messiness of family life, and they accept that with grace and flexibility. When confronted with flaws and failures of family life in a family member, happy families choose consistently to accept their loved ones and to forgive them.

Second secret of a happy family is that it's marked by mutual respect.

Third secret of a happy family is a commitment to a larger purpose beyond themselves. A family that exists only for itself will never be happy. The family is the basic building block of society. And as family relationships grow in health, so grows the culture.

Today, we are going to look at a unique role in the family. It is the role of a father, and in order to do it, we are going to take a look at Jesus relationship with his father. We are going to take a look at a key moment in Jesus’ life with his father, which we heard in today’s Gospel. St. Luke is telling us about St. John the Baptist, a prophet, who prepared the way for the coming of Jesus. St. Luke tells us all the people were baptized and then Jesus himself was baptized. The point of baptism is to repent from sin. It's to start a new life with God. Of course, Jesus didn't need to do that. So, why did John baptize him?

Of course Scripture scholars have written books offering answers to this question, but they tend to boil down to two reasons. First, Jesus is providing a model here for his followers. He showsus how he wants us to live and what he wants us to do, and that is what he is doing here. In fact, Jesus’ great commission to the disciples before his ascension is for them to make disciples of all the nations through baptism.

The second reason is different. It's to set up this incredibly important moment that we're going to be looking at, and the moment goes like this: after Jesus had been baptized, the heavens were opened, and the Holy Spirit descended upon him in bodily form like a dove and a voice, came from heaven saying, "You are my beloved Son." Those are incredibly important words from any father to any son. You are loved. But then there comes words perhaps equally important, perhaps equally valuable because God the Father says to His son, "With you I am well-pleased." Jesus is 100% God, but also, fully human, and as a human being, he needed approval and encouragement, every bit as much as the rest of us.

A principal role for any father in any family is to eventually send his sons and daughters into the world with his blessing. Part of the secret of every happy family is when the father accepts this role and invests in it. It's a role that uniquely belongs to the father. Mothers obviously have a principal role of equipping and encouraging children, but it's different with dads. Partly, that is because the mother-child bond is more physical. It's more innate. The father-child bond must be more intentional.

If you know the blessing of your father, if he effectively communicated his love and approval for you, it's an emotion that runs deep and wide in your heart. 

On the other hand, if your father's blessing is missing in your life, you feel that absence, perhaps at a visceral level. Maybe you've explained it away or played it down, but it's there. Nevertheless, you carry anger. You carry resentment toward him. You never heard that blessing. You never got that approval, and now that's a driving force in your daily life. If you don't get that blessing from your father, you look for it everywhere, anywhere, from other authority figures, from mentors, and bosses, and teachers, and friends. Some people spend their whole lives searching for a father.

For many others, your experience falls somewhere in between. Your father gave you some kind of blessings for sure, but it was messy. It was compromised. You might say it was a mixed blessing.

Dads, you need to know that your words and actions carry weight, a huge weight. Maybe sometimes you'd feel like you can't even get your family's attention, like nobody's even listening to you. But the reality is that there's a huge desire on the part of everybody in your household to see you pleased and to make you happy. When you're displeased, when you're unhappy, when you're in a bad mood, it disturbs your household.

The greatest gift that you dadscan give yourchildren is the blessing of knowing that you love them and that they have your approval. Speak words of blessing and approval over your kids and be specific. When they bring home a report card, focus first on all the good work that they have accomplished. If they do something noteworthy or exceptional on a sports field or in the arts, or even more importantly, if they display some strength of character, recognize it, and celebrate it. Let them know that you believe in them, and you believe that there's a great plan for their lives. Whether you recognize that or not, you are the spiritual authority in your family, and communicating blessing is the principal way in which you exercise that authority.

For the rest of us, we have to be aware of this dynamic too. If you have a father that helped you feel his blessing, thank God for him and thank him yourself if you still have the opportunity. Let him know that you appreciate the support that he's given you. You know, high school and college students, this is huge. It would be huge if you gave your father this encouragement, and don't dismiss the idea as un-cool or uncomfortable.

If your father didn't give you his blessing, if you realize now that you're angry and you're annoyed with him about that, you know what you're supposed to do too. Your job is to forgive him. The best things that you can do is to acknowledge that he owed you his blessing and then forgive him for not giving it to you. What you can also do in moving forward is to recognize the opportunities that you have to speak blessing and encouragement into the lives of others. Give away what you yourself didn't get.

Whether you've received your father's blessing or not, here's something we all need to understand. No matter how well your father bless you, no matter how effective he was in extending approval into your life, it isn't enough. That's not your father's fault, and that's not some fault or failure on your part either. That's just the way it is because all human fatherhood is only a reflection and a dim reflection of our heavenly Father.

Deep in our heart, God has planted a desire to please and honor him. Ultimately, that longing we are feeling is for the blessing of God. The good news with the Gospel is that we can begin to understand and appreciate and receive that in the person of Jesus Christ. It is Christ who helps us understand our Heavenly Father. He's pleased with every step of faith that we take toward him. He is delighted with every act of obedience we honor him with no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. In Christ, our Father is easily pleased.