Welcome to the final week of our message series, “Secrets of Every Happy Family.” We have noted that unhappy families tend to be unhappy in their own unique ways, whereas there are common qualities of happy families. While not able to look at every quality of happy families, we have been looking at three important ones. First, happy families consistently deal with the messiness of family life with grace. Second, happy families are marked by respect – respect for God’s authority in family life, and the mutual respect of the family members. Finally, happy families have an awareness that their mission extends beyond just the confines of themselves, but to their neighborhoods, their churches, their community, and even to the culture.

We have discussed the two main roles in families. We noted that fathers of happy families consistently take up the task of clearly and effectively communicating their blessing and approval to their children as they head out into the world. Mothers in happy families joyfully take up their role of preparing their children for the world, and launching them into it.

We are going to conclude this message series by continuing what we started to look at last week. While all families want everyone in the family to be happy, we know that this is often not the case. There is a gap between what we desire for our family, and the reality of our family life. We noted that the love that we have for our family is called affection. Affection is an emotional connection marked by fondness on multiple levels. While affection is an excellent foundation, it is not enough to create and sustain a happy family. We need something more. We need grace; that unearned, undeserved gift from God.

Today’s second reading can teach us a lot about Grace. St. Paul wrote two letters to the members of the church he started in the Greek city of Corinth. Today we heard from the first letter. Corinth was a wealthy Greek city in the Roman Empire. The Corinthians were a well-educated community of smart, sophisticated people.

St. Paul writes this first letter to the church in Corinth in part to answer some questions they sent him about the faith, but the main reason he wrote was to address the inner conflict of the church. The church of Corinth turns out was extremely dysfunctional. There was envy, and selfishness, and impatience among the members. Members were actually suing one another in Roman courts, arguing over basics when it came to doctrines of the faith or practices. There were darker secrets and sins too.

The passage that we heard from today is from the 13^thchapter, and if you have ever been to a wedding, there is a good chance that you have heard it before there. St. Paul speaks poetically about the ideal of love. He says, "It doesn't matter what gifts, or talents, or abilities I have, if I'm not motivated by love, they're worthless."

The same is true in our families. You can live in a great big, beautiful house right out of Architectural Digest, but if that house isn't filled with love, it's not a good place to be. You can go out to a lavish dinner in a fancy restaurant, but if everybody is fighting with one another, you're just going to have indigestion. You can go on an exotic, expensive vacation, but if you don't bring love along, it doesn't matter how much you spend on that vacation. Nobody's going to have any fun. You can send your kids to prestigious exclusive school, but if there's no love in your relationship with them, then those accomplishments don't really satisfy. Without love, our families cannot be happy. This is where grace comes in. It is not magic. It helps, and it's the result of habits. We dispose ourselves to grace through spiritual habits.

Notice what happens next in this passage from Corinthians. St. Paul switches from lofty poetic language to very practical teaching on what love looks like in our families day-in and day-out. He says, "Love is patient. Love is kind." Patience and kindness cover a wide range of experiences and responses from suppressing sarcasm to refraining from road rage. St. Paul is describing a lifestyle choice.

St. Paul goes on. "It's not jealous, it's not pompous, it's not inflated, it's not rude." In other words, the perspective of love is outwardly focused. Again, we're not naturally like this. He says, "Love does not brood over injuries." This is a big one, because a lot of you hold on to stuff. You carry those lists around with you, and you're always ready to bring them out and use them as a weapon against the other person. St. Paul says, "Don't do it." Don't do it because love doesn't do it.

St. Paul concludes, "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things." It remains steadfast in the face of any and every circumstance. By the way, the repetition of that phrase “all things” is significant. If you're thinking, well, that's kind of ridiculous. That's kind of extreme. St. Paul would say, "Exactly. You understand my point precisely." Love is always trying to protect the integrity of the relationship. Seems like it's asking a lot. And at one level, it is. But at another level, it's actually easier. The alternative behaviors take much more work. It takes so much energy to invest in negative emotions like anger, or annoyance, or impatience. Dispose yourself to grace so that God can take that affection that you have for your family and apply it practically throughout your family life.

A family is an image and reflection of God's love. It's an imperfect reflection for sure, but it is a reflection. It's imperfections and our frustration at its imperfections point us to a desire for something more. Our desire for something more is the family of God. Ultimately, what God is doing in the world is building His family which we get to be a part of. And we practice, we learn how to do it really well right here in our own families.